Whisper/Scream

I hope it won't surprise anyone to hear that I am firmly Team Coco. Like a lot of people, I started watching Late Night with Conan O'Brien in college and feel that I've grown up watching him. In Utah they used to do this weird thing where they showed The Tonight Show, then a rerun of Suddenly Susan, then Late Night. I don't have any idea why, but it made pushing through to watch Conan a bit more trying than it would be otherwise. But I always did, and it was always worth it. I came to admire Conan not just for being funny and smart and a little bit weird, but for his graciousness and humility. I think anyone who saw tonight's show saw that on full display. I watched him leave Late Night and was excited to see him move on to The Tonight Show. I loved how honored he was to host a television institution. So it hurt to see the mess NBC made of everything. He'd waited so long and worked so hard. I couldn't imagine what it must feel like for him. But watching him bury the show that was his dream, I remembered something I read a few years back. Here's an excerpt from his 2000 Harvard Commencement Address:

I've dwelled on my failures today because, as graduates of Harvard, your biggest liability is your need to succeed. Your need to always find yourself on the sweet side of the bell curve. Because success is a lot like a bright, white tuxedo. You feel terrific when you get it, but then you're desperately afraid of getting it dirty, of spoiling it in any way.

I left the cocoon of Harvard, I left the cocoon of Saturday Night Live, I left the cocoon of The Simpsons. And each time it was bruising and tumultuous. And yet, every failure was freeing, and today I'm as nostalgic for the bad as I am for the good.

So, that's what I wish for all of you: the bad as well as the good. Fall down, make a mess, break something occasionally. And remember that the story is never over. If it's all right, I'd like to read a little something from just this year: "Somehow, Conan O'Brien has transformed himself into the brightest star in the Late Night firmament. His comedy is the gold standard and Conan himself is not only the quickest and most inventive wit of his generation, but quite possible the greatest host ever."

Ladies and Gentlemen, Class of 2000, I wrote that this morning, as proof that, when all else fails, there's always delusion.

I'll go now, to make bigger mistakes and to embarrass this fine institution even more. But let me leave you with one last thought: If you can laugh at yourself loud and hard every time you fall, people will think you're drunk.

Thank you.

The cable guy is here. He has been here for three hours, and so far there is no end in sight. Apparently the phone and cable jacks in our new apartment aren't actually attached to anything, which means we can't just plug in and linkup. So I am stuck, sitting in an apartment with no heat (the gasman doesn't come for two more weeks), with no tv to watch and no internet to surf. I have read an entire novel since he got here (ok, it was a short novel, but longer than a novella!), and my fiance is pushing me to read his favorite book, which in spite of my promises, I am attempting to delay for awhile yet.

The boy is glued to his iphone, playing games, surfing vimeo, reading his email, and checking the stats of his various web endeavors. Including this one. Apparently, people actually read my dumb little blog, which leads me to wonder, if you're reading this right now, who are you? How did you find my site? Why do you come back?

And also, thanks. I'll try to post something interesting soon. For now, here's a short video to watch. It makes me so happy.

This is the time of year that has everyone making lists. Usually top ten lists. Best movies. Best books. Best TV shows. Best Albums. Best Singles. Best ham sandwich within a three mile radius. Et cetera ad infinitum. So in the spirit of year end list thingies, here are some of the things I liked this year:

1. The Brothers Bloom

I don't necessarily think this was the best movie I saw this year--I recognize that it has some flaws and plotholes, but it was just so much fun. Director Rian Johnson rounded up a few of my favorite favorite actors and put them in a twisty turny yarn about con artists and the stories they weave. Rachel Weisz as Penelope Stamp deserves an entire post about exactly why I think she's maybe the coolest woman ever filmed. 

2. Nonfiction

It would be an understatement to say that I read a lot. I didn't sleep much as a kid, which meant that in my formative years I had an extra four to six hours a day to fill, and I filled them with reading. I've occasionally heard someone say that I've read everything, and I always get kind of embarrassed. There are major holes in my reading--Russian authors, anything from the Middle Ages, but the biggest is nonfiction. I like a good story, and I'm not disciplined enough to slog through the boring bits. Until now. In 2009, most of my favorite books have been history or science or biography.

3. Vintage Art Deco engagment rings

I got engaged this year. I really really really love my ring. That is all.

4. S'more cookies

So this year my mom invented the greatest cookie in the history of mankind, and they're super easy to make. I'm giving you her secret. Take a package of graham crackers. Break them along the perforated lines until they're long and thin rectangles. Take one piece, smear it with marshmallow cream, place another piece on top. Like a sandwich. Leave them out over night so the marshmallow hardens just a little bit. Melt chocolate. Dip graham crackers in choclate until coated. Place on wax paper and allow chocolate to harden. Stuff your face with them. They're delicious!

5. The Griffith Observatory

I love the Griffith Observatory. My boyfriend promised to take me there for Valentine's Day, but he forgot and we didn't go. Then we tried almost every night for a couple weeks, but they close the roads after dark. I called and asked, How do we get there after dark? I was told, Take Vermont all the way up. Vermont was closed. Finally we went in the daytime and I heart this place so hard. I love the planetarium with the show about the history of astronomy. I love the Tesla coil. I love the new downstairs and standing on the scales. I love the seismograph. And I love love love love love the Foucault pendulum. We went more and more and more times, and then my boyfriend proposed there and became my fiance and I heart this place even harder.

6. Brussels Sprouts

I had Brussels Sprouts for the first time in the summer of 2008. Someone brought them to a potluck. They weren't that good--clearly frozen and then boiled to death, but I tasted a seed of wonder in them. This fall/winter I have eaten them at least once a week. My favorite is to blanche them, then cut them in half and saute until caramelized, but also roasted or with lardons or shallots or steamed and buttered. Really, pretty much no matter what you do to them, they're delightful. But sometimes stinky.

7. Community

I didn't pick many new shows this fall. I sort of watch Flash Forward online sometimes when I can remember, and I did really like White Collar, but none of them make me as happy as Community. It's quick and witty and the jokes come from everywhere. Traditional jokes, site-gags, snark, quirk, weird, anything you can think of. The characters are all well-drawn and true. It's just a solid show that is always funny.

Although it's hard to choose, my favorite episode is "Introduction to Film." Hulu it. You will not be sorry. The central plot is really brilliant, and so is the secondary storyline, but it's the tertiary storyline that yields the funniest thing ever on the show. The study group has known each other for awhile at this point. Jeff (thirty-something rascal) predicts that Pierce (clueless, slightly creepy old guy) will say something racist in less than a minute. Group yada yadas for awhile. Shirley (middle aged black woman) coos over Troy's dainty sneeze. Troy (young black man) says, "You're not my mother." Pierce double-takes. "She's not?" Honestly. Go watch it right now.

8. Heidi Ryder

When we got engaged, we had a list of what we wanted for our wedding. A great photographer was at the top of our list. So we, and by we I mean Free, began the search. Google was consulted. Friends recommended photographers. I signed up with an event site and was inundated with pleas and offers. People begged. It was unseemly. Finally, we set up a meeting with Heidi. And she was nice and professional and liked our ideas about what we wanted. And her portfolio was good. And she had packages in our price range. So we booked her and set up our engagement photo shoot. The pictures look like this. I love Heidi Ryder.

9. Lady Gaga

I was vaguely aware of Lady Gaga in the closing months of 2008. I knew she wore big sunglasses and no pants and thought she looked a bit like Christina Aguilera. I hadn't really heard any of her music. Then I heard "Just Dance" and loved it. I used it for my alarm. I bought her album and listened to it over and over and over and over. As I saw her performances and read interviews with her, my like metastasized from her music to her. I like her over the top kind of insane fashion choices. I like her performance-art-twist-paradigms-make-the-viewer-uncomfortable thing. I like that she got her start as a songwriter and continues to write her own music. I like that she handled the intersex rumor by not taking it seriously. I like that she says what she thinks instead of what will make people comfortable. I just like her.

10. Animation

Like all other kids, I liked cartoons. I liked Disney cartoons and He-Man and She-Ra and Tiny Tunes and even Conan the Barbarian, a really terrible one on every morning before school. But the older I got the less I watched. And while I've liked a few animated features in the last few years, I've gravitated toward foreign stuff (Spirited Away) or things with arthouse cred (The Triplets of Belleville). I also favored hand drawn animation. It seemed freer, less constrained by the laws of physics.--anything could happen. So I'm a bit surprised that two of my very favorite movies this year are Up (CGI animation) and Fantastic Mr. Fox (stop-motion animation).

11. Glee

Glee. What can I say about Glee? Right now I can only think of bad puns. Also, it's kind of getting late, and I'm a little bit tired of writing this post, so I'm just going to say that I like it a lot. I like Jane Lynch and Matthew Morrison and Lea Michele and hairography and wheelchair choreography and telling your girlfriend's parents she's pregnant by singing "You're Having My Baby" and doing the Single Ladies dance in a football game and singing mash-ups while high on ephedrine and "Don't Rain on My Parade" and boozy Kristin Chenowith and "You Just Keep My Hanging On" in a cheer uniform. I like it all.

Happy New Year. I can't wait to see what I'll like in 2010.

Sometimes, when I'm in a restaurant with densely packed tables, I sit quietly and listen to the conversations of the people around me. Also, I do this in line or at sporting events or anywhere I can clearly hear your conversation. Be careful what you talk about, because I'm listening.

So while I was at Porto's this afternoon munching on some potato balls, I was also listening the people next to me. A young woman was talktalktalking away to her mother, who could not have been less interested in what she was saying. She was talking about her school--I couldn't figure out which one it was--and some guy and his friend who was a much better writer than him. And her mother, who was wearing a surgical mask, did not ever react in any way. It was so bizarre, and in spite of her quasipseudointellectual affect I was starting to feel sorry her. Then she said this:

I was in the mall and I saw a celebrity's child and I went up to him and said his name and his babysitter kind of freaked out...It was Gwen Stefani's son, and I said Hi, Kingston. Then his babysitter took him away.

That is insane. Approaching strange children and calling them by name is only done by pedophiliac stalkers who have moved onto the kidnapping phase of their plan. Also, who recognizes celebrity's children?

Interestingly, this is the only thing her mother responded to. She said she thought the babysitter had done the right thing. Then they got up and left their trash on the table, even though there was a garbage can right behind them.

I'm typing this on my brand new MacBook! Thanks, love!

I hope everyone else got something they can be excited about this year.